Although it can be overwhelming, you have to do it. Here’s why: Polls show most kids think their parents are going to cover the total cost of college, no matter where they go. It’s up to you to give your kid a reality check. These are my five talking points to get you on the same page.
- Go to college, get a million dollars. When you mention the cost of higher ed, your kid will probably wonder how it could be worth all that money. So tell them: Over the course of a lifetime, your kid will make on average $1 million more if she graduates college than if she stops at high school. (Some of that earnings potential goes into costs like tuition, but college grads still end up far ahead.) Of course, college offers a whole lot more than financial gain, but using dollars might be the best way to grab kids’ attention.
- Be clear: You’re in this together. Starting in ninth grade, college becomes the elephant in the room—and it can cause
Financial Aid Checklist
both you and your kid a lot of stress. Assure your kid that you’ll work it out together and make sure she gets a good education.
- Don’t be afraid to talk money. There is no shame in this. Sure, you’d like to do whatever it takes to send your kid to the most expensive liberal arts school, but the reality is that money is finite. Here’s how to raise the subject: “I’ve been looking into how much we can set aside to pay for your college. Now that you’re old enough, it’s time to talk about what I’ve found out.” No need to reveal every detail of your financial life—although much of this will be exposed when you fill out the FAFSA in the fall of senior year, so be warned.
Do tell her, though, what you’ve got and how much you’ll probably need to come up with. If you have a college fund set aside in her name, let your kid know. If part of her education is likely to be funded by loans—as it is for most students—she needs to understand that, too.
- Ask your kid to kick in. Maybe he already has some money from grandparents, which is great. Maybe he’s got a part-time job, or is planning to land one. If not, now’s the time to think about these matters. (Just keep that job under 15 hours a week during the school year, or his GPA might take a hit.)
- Pick a few “financial safety schools”—ideally, ones your family could afford even without financial aid. Most likely, these will be public colleges and universities closer to home. But don’t avoid pricier schools where your kid’s chances of getting aid money look particularly good (see here for resources on particularly generous schools). Of course, money is just one element—even if it looms large.
